How do you ensure you’re making good decisions more of the time?

A SINGLE DECISION IS NOT A SINGLE DECISION

Caitlin (not her real name) had a terrible habit of making a decision to turn to junk food at the first sign of feeling bad. If she felt that her day had not gone exactly as she would’ve wanted it to, she would drop into the supermarket on the way home, purchase anything she felt like eating and then would spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch with good old Netflix.

Whilst she felt enormous relief in the moment and thoroughly enjoyed the yummy food and entertainment of her favourite shows, once it was time to get off the couch (usually bedtime), she actually felt worse. She admonished herself for making a poor decision once again, arguing with herself that it should’ve been easy to make a good choice, but, realising the damage had already been done (and it was only Tuesday), decided the week was a write-off and repeated these actions the following day for the rest of the week.

This vicious cycle resulted in Caitlin feeling less than happy and healthy because she was not being her desired self, experiencing the feelings she wanted to experience or moving towards the future she dreamed of.

Caitlin also inherently knew that the consequences of her decisions and actions were far-reaching – despite being made in that one moment, they created a domino effect on every moment thereafter and adversely affected her health, finances and self-esteem in the long-run. Short-term gain for long-term pain.

YOUR FUTURE IS A CHAIN OF DECISIONS

The future you want is created through a chain of decisions, made one after the other. You might think that one tiny poor decision now, such as giving into a craving, isn’t going to have a huge impact on the rest of your life. That’s all well and good if you rarely make these kinds of decisions or have stellar self-control. But few of us are that way inclined, as we are all too aware!

One small decision in a direction that’s not aligned with what you ultimately want will quickly steer you off course and away from the future you envision. And the more and more this happens, the harder and harder it will be to get back on track towards making this vision your reality.

So, why do it all backwards? Making a crappy choice and then trying to get yourself back on track is like trying to sail from Sydney to Los Angeles in bad weather but not holding onto the steering wheel. Rough seas (life) are going to send you in any number of directions and completely off course, meaning that you’ll have to put in a mammoth effort to turn the boat against the waves over and over again in order to stay heading in the right direction!

The easier solution is to tune into your emotion first, observe your thoughts for a bit and then make a decision. Just let yourself feel your emotions, rather than attempting to avoid or appease them in unhealthy ways. Watch your mind telling you what you should do and justifying its plans. Then from a space of calm and greater objectivity, make a good decision, one that is consistent with what you really want and the future you most desire. Only desirable consequences come from aligned decisions and these always feel great, because they are consistent with what both you and your Higher Self know you want.

And even if you may not be, your Higher Self is disciplined when it comes to helping you get what you want and it will tell you so! Your Higher Self uses your emotions as a guidance system to let you know when you are making a misaligned decision. The gap in energy frequencies between what you want (what your Higher Self is focused on) and an opposed decision (what you are focused on) creates a feeling of discomfort. The wider the gap, the greater the level of discomfort you will feel. This is your Higher Self trying to get your attention to tell you that you are way off track on your path to the future you want.

On the contrary, when you make an aligned decision, one in which your current decision is consistent with where you want to go, the gap narrows and your Higher Self sends good feelings through your emotional guidance system, informing you that you are on the right track towards your future and encouraging you to keep making decisions like these. Consequently, the good feelings that come from this guidance are essentially reinforcers that enable you to make similar decisions again and again and get you to your future faster.

So, how do you make better decisions, despite how you feel and more often than not?

HOW TO MAKE BETTER, MORE ALIGNED DECISIONS MORE OFTEN

Step 1: Give yourself the gift of time and space for good decision-making

Put yourself in a position to make a good decision from the get-go. If you’re feeling less than good, pause. Then close your eyes and take a big deep breath in and out (or a few). Give yourself the time and space to tune into how you are feeling and what your mind is saying. Become aware of your mind trying to steer you away from your vision for immediate gratification and short-term comfort.

Step 2: Realise what your Higher Self is trying to tell you

Use your emotions as messages or guidance from your Higher Self. Once you have tuned into and recognised which emotions you are experiencing, step back from them and your thoughts. If you notice that you are feeling negative emotion, identify this as a message from Higher Self that you out of alignment and that you are considering making a decision to attain something you actually don’t want, something that doesn’t fit into your vision for the future. Thank your Higher Self for guiding you in this way – life is so much easier when you have an ally to assist you in your decision-making!

Step 3: Think about your feelings and future

When I’m about to make a poor decision, I often think about the future I really want and recognise that this decision will not get me there! It’s all about whether your decisions will make you feel good and if they will lead you to the future you most desire. So, when thinking about making a poor decision, consider the consequences of following through with this misaligned decision – how will it make me feel in the long-run and will it help me achieve my future goals? Then consider the consequences of making an alternative, aligned decision – – how will it make me feel in the long-run and will it help me achieve my future goals? This way, you are making a fully informed choice. You have thought carefully through both options, how they will make you feel and whether they will create a beautiful future, and subsequently are more likely to make the better choice.

Step 4: If you’re still struggling to make a decision with clarity, cement your vision in your mind

When you get a glimpse of what your future could actually look like, you will no doubt feel incredibly inspired and excited! But if you’re struggling to make a decision in the moment, ask yourself: ‘What would my Higher Self do in this situation?’ Close your eyes and visualise Higher Self firmly focused on this vision for your Future, seeing it with absolute clarity and certainty. The visualise your physical self choosing to make the good decision. Amplify the feelings that would inevitably come with making this decision and achieving your future vision. Get super excited, as if you are there right now.

Step 5: Reinforce your good decisions

As children, our good behaviour may have been reinforced with incentives such as praise or extrinsic rewards. This should not stop into adulthood, but you need to be able to give it to yourself. Appreciate your Higher Self for guiding you in this decision. Really appreciate yourself for behaving and choosing differently to how you normally would. Really feel those good feelings of appreciation and journal this moment as soon as you are able to serve as a reminder of just how good the outcomes of this process have been, both now and in the future. You’re much more likely to continue doing what feels great, and that’s what it’s all about, right?

FUTURE PACE

You just agreed with me that you want to feel great most of the time, right? Well, you also know that preventing a negative emotion such as regret is easier than trying to correct the decision afterwards or vowing to do better next time. If you continue to make certain types of decisions (i.e. away from your future vs towards your future), these decision-making processes will become well-worn neural pathways in your brain, effectively become the ‘paths of least resistance’ that you will automatically follow when it comes time to making your next decision. What type of path do you want to carve out? Which direction do you want to head next time? And do you want this to be a almighty challenge of struggle and the time and effort required to make a better decision, or a largely automatic process that just feels easy?

What if you choose to make a poor decision this time? Turn it into a positive. Be grateful to feel the regret, as it’s your Higher Self illuminating your desires even more clearly and reminding you to connect to it and allow it to help you make better decisions next time.

Choosing potential consequences that feel great from an infinite number of possible consequences more of the time will attract less situations that make you feel terrible and therefore prone to making bad decisions. Therefore, when you feel good, your life improves which makes choosing better decisions a whole lot easier and likely. Doing so changes you as a person, too. Those well-worn habitual pathways in brain break down when you refuse to use them any longer. New pathways grow for the better decisions you’re making and therefore set you up to make more of them in the future, FOR your future!

Imagine how much more quickly you’d achieve the future you most desire if you could make good decisions more of the time?